Trust

Last night, here I am actually at my lowest point, late in the evening, my world crashes down against me.
I turn on praise and music and look out the window.
The wind is so violent that it begins to shake the actual house.
I see that the trees are dancing, not softly dancing, they are dancing violently, in pure strokes of passion.
They are completely engulfed and drowning in passion,
in the kind of passion that is the result of loving devotion, of praise.

Today I am standing outside,
I had been reflecting on the fact that once my cognition actually understood that all beliefs and identities of insecurity inside of me were
the arrows and weapons of the enemy sent against me,
after having found that none of these things are me,
a new sensation arose in me, a new pathway that was unavailable in my life.
The pathway, the feeling, is victory.
The feeling of being victorious, of victoriousness, and of knowing that the possibility of being victorious is accessible,
that is to say classically, that victory is evident, that the strong faith in evidence exists.

And so follows a few statements of near instantaneous victory,
“I bind my body to the cloak of righteousness in the name of Jesus Christ”
“I bind my eyes to the eyes of fire in the name of Jesus Christ”

I am not able to cry. There has not been anything in a few years that have allowed me to cry.
But I began to speak these words aloud, and my eyes watered, as emotional freedom was released from my shell.
‘I will trust in the Lord with all my heart, with all of my soul, and with all of my strength.
I will give thanks to the Lord with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my strength.
With my last breath, I will give thanks to the Lord.
With my first breath, I will give thanks to the Lord.
With my every breath, I will give thanks to the Lord. ‘

These words were not words, they were declarations. They are the same kind of declarations as
“No weapon formed against me will prosper.”
In fact, they are the same declaration.
If you understand what I am really saying,
It is this truth,
It is this freedom in victory,
You can make me miserable, you can make me suffer, you can take everything from me,
you can break me down, you can make me sick, you can make any story about me,
you can tell me any lie, you can oppress me in any way,
But you cannot stop me from trusting in the Lord.
That very trust is freedom itself.

This trust was the final key that I did not have,
this trust is the one key that darkness has done everything it can to keep from me for all of these years,
it is the one key of victory that changes the game.

I have had gains in every other area of my spiritual life excepting trust.
What is this trust?
It is **not** trusting appearances.
It is actually removing trust from somewhere and replacing it somewhere else.
We normally place our trust in all appearances in this world.
This is to move that trust somewhere else.

What prevented me from not being able to trust God was that I was trusting that I would not be able to trust God.
In knowing that I can and do and am trusting God, no weapon formed against me can prosper.
This is parallel to my next statement.
No matter what you do to me, I will give thanks!
I will give thanks with my last breath!
No matter what you do, you cannot take this from me!

When no one can take what you hold dear, you have freedom. They can do nothing to you.
This superceding principle will never go away,
not even if you lose everything.

There is also a new possibility.
With my first breath, I can give thanks!
With my last breath, I can give thanks!
There is no obstacle, no situation,
no circumstance that can prevent me from this action which has the outcome of a result that is an attack strike against that which I am against and which is pleasing to the master which I serve.
In a real sense, I have the freedom of choice. I have the freedom that is like getting the last word.
You cannot win this fight,
because dead men tell no lies,
and dying men speak the truth.