The Charge
What is this charge?
When I woke this day, I went to turn on worship music.
Looking for a song that would bring me back to a place that I could not remember.
A voice in my head asked,
“Why aren’t you bringing God into this task?”
A good question, why was I not simply asking for the perfect song to play?
Upon playing the song ‘Reckless Love’, I was instantly reminded of my overwhelming gratitude for life. I was able to contrast the two states in that moment. In the first, I had no reason to rise. In the second was a world of reasons.
I had no spark, and with another direction, I was charged.
I wanted to write these two words where I would see them where I woke up. I had no pen available, I had no paper.
As I’m looking for a pen, and looking for paper I know full well does not exist, A knock on my door, and the sound of a landing.
I instantly know what it is. In that second, the paper and pen have been delivered to me. My roommate has taken the time to leave my package at the door.
I’m able to open it, get pencil and paper, and write the note within seconds. When I look at this note, I will remember this context of seamless timing along with my request.
What is this divine ‘charge’ that gives meaning to my life?
It seems to be a sight, the sight of a perspective.
I liked to objectify, determine what is what from what.
Looking at the charge, I can find no source.
Is it an emotion?
Emotion comes from it, but it is not an emotion.
What is it?
I do not know what it is.
I can speak of it,
but I can not determine it.
I have in my life accessed supernatural experiences,
powerful energies.
Many of these manifestations of experience are of
depth and power and taste,
but many of them, they don’t fit this vessel.
They are not the correct shape or size for my electrical system,
of my electric body.
They may resonate for a moment in my soul,
but they are temporal experiences, they do not last,
one would have to manufacture a pattern to continue
to tap into that faucet, and that faucet might quickly dry up.
This experience, I can not quantify it. I cannot grab hold
of its touch, it is not a feeling, it is behind feelings.
I hear a sound emanate from it, but it is not a sound.
What is this charge? Is this overwhelming compassion?
The compassion is not my own.
Is this perspective a concept?
I can only speak of what comes from the concept.
It is without words. Words can wrap around this.
It is not just pure Presence, but it emanates from it.
Its quality is active, it comes from an active principle.
It is Light.
It gives breath to my lungs.
This is the Breath of Life.
Who could stand against the sight of it?
It is a gift. It is the same as receiving a great gift.
What is inside this sight?
It is not bliss. It is not peacefulness.
It is not a contentment or enlightenment state as in the Hindu and Buddhist philosophies.
It is alive.
From its sight, I gain power. I gain a power to look at another person with caring eyes,
with loving eyes, with eyes that bless, with eyes that wish wellbeing.
I gain the power to speak with that charge in my voice.
Inside the charge is a hope, this hope is just as elusive as the sight itself.
I am not fond of the word hope. Man’s hope is empty, vain, that which is expected never comes to pass.
This hope is not in the future. This hope is in something existing right now.
The word hope may not suffice.
It is a joyful hope. This hope is seeing that others will receive light,
that others will receive a great blessing.
There is great meaning in this.
In this sight there is excitement.
From this sight, the thoughts pronounce,
“Someone has seen me! Someone has heard me!”
Have you ever made someone feel so cared about, so special,
that you saw that their heart was touched, that they were going to cry from the interaction?
This sight is that reality. That reality is within this sight.
In this sight, there is a great value. In this sight, each person is a great treasure.
In this sight, they might see their own treasure, they might know their own value.
I received this gift of deserving, I did not feel deserving.
My heart was given care I did not know I deserved.
The heart asks for nothing but to give the gift.
This is why they want to kiss the master’s feet.
This is why they want to adorn the beloved with blessing.
Why? This is a gift that cannot be repaid, for its value is of no measure.
What is this that men call love? What is this that men call peace?
These have no value.
“Love is love”, they are saying. The love they speak of, they do not even know what it is.
Ask them, they will reveal they don’t know. Their love is pleasure, sex.
“I desire peace”, they are saying. Their peace is not even the great Stillness!
The Zen Masters know of Presence and Stillness. What is Presence and where does it come from?
Presence is the natural world, it is Reality. Presence is not a special art, it is the deconditioning of insanity. Presence is our natural state, we have just left this state as our
thoughts have been trained to leave far from it. There is a measure of freedom in this,
in the inherent knowing, knowing that nothing this world can do can harm you,
in that nothing can take your freedom away.
This Presence is not the sight I speak of. Presence is perfect, full, pure, and fulfilling,
but it is not the possibility of this sight.
This sight is again an active principle. Presence is neither active nor inactive.
This sight, this active principle is similar to the difference between being alone and being with a great master.
What do I mean by active? I mean that it springs forth. It is accessed, it is a faucet that is tapped into.
Man in the conditioning of thinking he has been trained says,
“I desire peace. Let me be alone.”
What he means to say is,
“I am in hell. Please, I am tired. I am in pain.
Allow me to rest, to wither and die that I might fade away.
I am in a life I did not choose, a world I do not want,
grant me the courtesy of the quiet, that I might at least die in rest.”
No man can stand in this sight, all will fall down, and all will know the glory of the Lord God.
What does this mean?
It means that it is so precious, so important, that in the sight of it,
all of man’s ambitions, his desires for legacy, that prideful need to be the ideas he has perceived
he must hold steady, these are a drop in the ocean.
It is not that they do not hold any inherent meaning, it is that there is no comparison to the
immeasurable.
Man does not see that his self is also his cage. The ideas he holds on to are the ideas that prevent him
from behaving freely as he would desire to behave. This is why he falls apart into a breakdown, this is why he cannot
hold on. He cannot go on holding on to all his ideas of self, they limit his freedom. He fears what
he might be without them.
In the face of this sight, man is free to be true to his deepest calling and nature.
This world has lied to us, perceiving that man’s deepest nature is sin.
Man’s nature is revealed in freedom, in his very nature, his desire to connect, to thrive, to grow,
to expand, to care, to nourish, to be kind, to be well, to be happy.
His happiness is limited by the ideas in his mind.
If he is looking into the sight, he will gain liberation, the freedom to act,
there is a more important matter to attend to than his self-preservation.
In the face of this sight, to what importance is his perceived need for self-preservation?
In this sight, those are of little consequence to him.
He gains the power to love, because he can, because he ought to, because nothing can stop him.
This is the meaning of the scripture, “To love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and soul,
and mind, and strength.”
Once he has resonated with this intention, once his eyes have been opened to a world outside of his
limited perception, what power is there that can stop him?
What consequence?
Isaiah writes,
”’No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and you will refute every tongue
that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is
from Me’, declares the Lord.
‘Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;
and you without money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost!Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of foods.Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.’”
I will soon be writing of the demonstrations of love Christ showed were possible.
I have written about one of these acts in ‘The Secret of the Leper’.
Be well.
